The 1996
Chairiot Race
Monday, Jan. 29
7AI Playroom

So what if the ancient Greeks didn't have five-legged castor-tipped padded-backed ergonomic office chairs? Hey, get with the times!

The format for this year's race has changed once again. In the past, we've had the Long Jump and the Relay Race. The Shotput has been taken. It must be time for the

The Rules

• Two players will race simultaneously against the clock.
• Traffic cones will be carefully placed at marked spots on the floor at the beginning of each race.
• Each competitor must have his or her rear firmly planted in the seat of the chair at all times. Locomotion may be provided in any manner (with the exception of other people) so long as this rule is observed.
• If the chair tips over, the competitor must right the chair and sit back down in it before continuing.
• The chair must maneuver around (not over) each of the cones. If a cone falls over, it must be left in that position through the rest of the race.
• A race consists of one lap from the starting line, around the outside of the cones, completely around the end cone one and one-half revolutions, and back around the cones to the starting line again.
• Competitors will race twice. Their final time will be the cumulative time of the two races.
• Unless he comes to his senses, the commisioner is considering using the miniature golf algorithm to compute final team scores.
• A possible map of the race is shown below.
• The chairs will be selected by the commish, and will hopefully be of the same five-legged variety we've used in the past few years. They will not be the chairs pictured above.
• Helmets are required.

Once again, we need helmets and the acquisition of several traffic cones. If you know of the whereabouts of any of these, please contact the commish.