Game 6 Results

Subject: "Execution Time VI: Time Warp to Terror"
Date: Tue, 13 Feb 2001 12:17:58 -0500
From: "His name was Matthew Marjanovic..." <>

Last night's game was, as I mentioned to Alex on the ice, the most
 bizarre hockey experience I have ever survived.  The next time I
 find out about a game 12 hours before it starts, I will just quietly
 cancel it and pay the fine myself.

About thirty seconds into the game, Mike Bosse (having just returned
 from an IAP abroad) took an unwarranted, after-the-play hit into the
 back boards.  And then a giant flaming gorilla appeared in the sky
 and dropped onto him.  This pulled his groin like a jerk chicken,
 and he had to be carried off the ice, put on a stretcher by six campus
 cops, and carted away into the night.  (More on that later...)
While the CP's were leaving Bosse's shoes behind, play continued, and
 Rodney Daughtrey got reamed into the boards in Sigma Chi's zone.  He
 got the wind knocked out of him, but recovered after a couple of minutes
 of praying to the lung gods.  It was obvious what had happened:  Rodney
 had borrowed Bosse's old jersey.  I doubt he'll ever do that again.

Once again, play continued.  Mike Bosse had been one of four defensemen;
 with him gone, Luke Sullivan and Brett "Scooby" Kubicek ended up out
 on the ice together, and each took a prime offender from our opposing
 team behind the boards and gently "smoked" him.  And *then*, some
 ignoranus on the other team attacked Scooby, tried to start a fight,
 got ejected.  (ignoranus:  "Someone who is both an idiot and an asshole."
 A new word for me!)  The remaining CP's cheered for blood, but the refs
 wisely stopped play and declared that the game was now Non-Checking.
 Back on the bench, our third offensive line (Eric Cosman, Mike Oltmans,
 and Kyle Jamieson, up from C-league to help round out the numbers)
 looked at me.  Their mouths spoke not a word, but their eyes clearly
 said, "Why did you bring us here, Maddog?"
Fortunately, once the no-check policy was in place, we had a fairly
 normal game.  Except that the scoreboard clock had missed a dose of its
 medication, so the second period somehow became 45 minutes long, and we
 were doomed to repeat the final 30 second rush over and over and over again.

All that said, we won 3-1.  Their only goal was scored by some unrostered
 ringer ("22"), and one of our goals was scored by Moltmans, on the Third
 Line.  A sporting victory, a moral victory, and three boys became men.
We were all thankful the night was over.  We packed up our equipment.
 We evacuated the rink, leaving only Mike Bosse's boots behind.

Actually, Scooby and Lauren and I took the boots with us, on a quest to
 find Mike.  We tracked him down at Cambridge City Hospital, where he
 was awaiting an X-ray.  Eventually, he got the X-ray, a cheerful young MD
 told him "Nope, you didn't break your hip." and gave him a prescription
 for supersized Motrin, and we drove him home without his pants, since
 they were somewhere in his hockey bag, somewhere at lab.
Unfortunately, he ripped something awful in his groin, so that he still
 couldn't put any weight on his right leg, and had to hobble around on
 crutches.  He had an appointment with MIT Medical this morning.  We'll
 have to get the rest of the story from Mike himself.  ()

Thanks to all who played, thanks to all the fans who came and cheered
 and watched the clock with bewilderment, and thanks to those who fell
 in the line of duty, including those who couldn't get up again.

Our next game is on Thursday, March 15, 9pm.  See you there.
(That's the "Ides of March", isn't it?  Great.)

Matt Marjanovic | The Cog Shop | MIT AI Lab | MIT | Cambridge | MA | USA |

FSF arrangements supercomputer Marxist [Hello to all my fans in
domestic surveillance] Treasury spy genetic Albanian Serbian Delta
Force NORAD Uzi AK-47 SDI

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