There Can Be Only One!
The Gladiator Event
Consider the sword. The ultimate weapon for close combat, invented
centuries ago by our ancestors for the gleeful dismemberment of
friends and foe alike.
Now consider the wiffle sabre. The ultimate weapon for close combat,
invented minutes ago for the gleeful bludgeoning of our
Morituri te salutant!*
Equipped with at least a hockey helmet and protective gloves, if not
shoulder, elbow, hip, shin and knee pads, members from opposite teams
will go at each other with wiffle sabers.
Only one pair fights at a time. The survivor continues on to the next
fight. The event ends when there is only one gladiator left.
Judges will determine
when a solid hit has been landed. A blow to the head or torso is
considered immediately lethal. A blow to a limb incapacitates
that limb. A blow to a second limb will dispatch the opponent
after 10 seconds due to blood loss. Any attempt to use an
incapacitated limb will result in blacking out from the pain and
subsequent death from blood loss (or sadistic opponent).
The wiffle sabers are not designed with a point, so any attempt to
pierce your opponent with a stabbing motion will earn the wrath of
the gods and a quick death due to a thunderbolt. Similarly,
causing excessive pain to ones opponent is frowned upon.
Opponents should be dispatched with clean, controlled strokes.
The gods ask that you be careful while killing each other.
Each team gets one point per participant. In addition, a team gains a point for every victory in combat. If both gladiators
die, no points are awarded. The sole remaining
survivor earns 3 points for his/her team. In the event that
there is more than one survivor in a team once all the opponents
have been dispatched, the remaining gladiators will turn upon each
other, while victories continue to earn points for that team. Any
ties will be broken in the natural way - by "champions" from the
two teams fighting a duel.
Any gladiator that can bring his/her opponent to the mercy of the
emperor will earn an extra point for the pleasure of the emperor granting
his thumbs-up or down.**
* "Those who are about to die salute you!" The phrase used by the
gladiators to address Caesar before the fight.
** In ancient Rome, when a gladiator had his opponent at his mercy, he
would turn to where Caesar sat waiting for Caesar to determine
the fate of the opponent. It is said that if the gladiator had
fought well and pleased Caesar, Caesar would turn his thumb up,
sparing the life of the defeated. Turning his thumb down had
the inevitable consequences.
Last modified: Wed Jan 28 13:11:13 EST