This AI Olympics thing, it's all about getting to know each other, no? Can you think of a better way to do that than rubbing up against each other? That krazy "UniHoc" was fun. And now you can do it again, to the beat of the world's most generic music! (Plus, you get to participate in flooding a Boston club with 80 CS people.)

Excited? Of course. Follow me now, into the world of AI Olympics Club Nite®....

(Keep in mind that I was mysteriously assigned to this event by "Edward Nigma", which, as far as I can tell, is the pseudonym for a pair of disembodied butt-cheeks which have been wired up to a mail server.)

This event is a happy medium between Jeremy's simple concept of "Let's go dancing", and Naha's more elaborate plan, given the constraints of budget and federal narcotics laws.

It works like this:

1. You head to Lansdowne St. to brush shoulders with a bunch of BU undergraduates. You are easily distinguished, though, because of the AI-Olympic-theme of your garb, and because you are not wearing a baseball cap.
2. You check-in with me, get points.
3. You frolic. You might play pool, or video games. Perhaps you even dance. Fortunately, you will be surrounded by peers who dance as badly as you do (with the exception of Christian "The Man with the Four-Way Hips" Shelton -- he dances good).
4. As you are kicked out at closing, you check in with me again. More points.

(Sorry to those of you taking Naha's suggestions to heart and who would like dental dams, extra lubricants, or any more exotic items --- you are on your own.)

The "Scoring" section details the scoring technique, along with possibilities for bonus points.

The central location for this event will be Jillian's, located above Atlas --- both easy to find on Lansdowne Street in Boston.

Jillian's is a multi-floor megaplex of entertainment opportunity, featuring pool tables, darts, and video games. And booze. Atlas is a dance club, featuring the non-descript music and underage clientele you yearn for. No cover for Jillian's; Atlas might charge a small cover, often waived if you walk in with a pretty girl (i.e. yourself, in the case of... oh, come now, no naming names!). Both have lax dress codes, which will allow me to wear shorts and you to wear AI-Olympic-themed garb.

I'll be hanging around the Jillian's/Atlas complex during the listed check-in/check-out times in order to do scoring. Feel free to wander about and check out the many other wonderful establishments on Lansdowne St. during the event.

Getting There

Lansdowne St. is about a block or so away from the Kenmore T-stop (Green Line). So Raquel suggests taking the T. But the T stops running early in Boston, so it would be easier to get home if someone drives. But then you have to park, so it would make sense to car pool.

You're smart kids. Figure it out for yourselves. (Obviously, this is an opportunity for team subcaptains to demonstrate their leadership skills.)

So, you wanna score like this beer-swilling Romeo to the left?
Tough, I can't (i.e. won't) help you there.
But if you want to score points for your team, read on....

Every individual who participates earns points. The points earned by each team member are added up to yield the team total. Finally, the teams are ranked by totals to yield the standard event scoring.

Individuals earn points following this schedule:

• Participation
  • 1 pt. for checking in at the beginning (from 10:30pm to 11:30pm)
  • 5 pts. for checking out at the end (from 1am to 2am)
• Health & Hygiene
  • 4 pts. for showing me your (unused, unopened, ready-to-wear) condom at check-in
• Olympic Spirit
  • 2 pts. for something simple, like wearing the team shirt, OR
  • 5 pts. for a more extravagant display

A team member can still earn check out points if they leave early, but only if:

• he/she is demonstratably leaving to "get lucky", and
• he/she again shows me his/her (unused, unopened, ready-to-wear) condom.

But wait, there's more!

Each Olympian who dances with Carl DeMarcken earns 10 bonus points.

"Dancing with Carl DeMarcken" is defined as:

1. Being out on a dance floor with Carl, with music playing.
2. Performing at least two "dance moves" with Carl, out of this list:
   • dipping,
   • twirling,
   • bumping,
   • grinding,
   • that thing where you push his face away from you and look away, and then pull it back by the chin and stare into his eyes.
   (The same "move" can be performed twice.)

Sorry, it doesn't count if Carl "dances with himself".

All these cool pictures were ripped off of the nightclub.com website.

"Good, Clean Fun" sample from "Shoot the Mac-10", Emergency Broadcast Network.

"Do Ya Think I'm Sexy" performed by The Revolting Cocks (originally Rod Stewart).

Condoms from Condom World, on Newbury Street. They gave us a discount (bulk purchase or preferred custumer? you decide.).

Club Nite® logo designed by me, in 2 minutes with The Gimp.